Archive for October, 2009

19
Oct
09

Why Wasim is better

Once again, let me say Cricinfo is the greatest site in the world, I recently saw this article about the great man Wasim Akram, a matter of great debate is whether Wasim was a better bowler than Glenn McGrath (GM), here’s my 0.02$ as to why Wasim was better —

1) Wasim had variety, he could bowl on dust-bowls in India or green tops in England and be equally effective, was GM ever as effective on dust-bowls ?

2) Wasim didn’t have the luxury of stability. Wasim had to contend with a lot of things — not always friendly team members, not always fair journalists, not always receptive captains and most of all a batting line up that didn’t always deliver. GM in his prime had the best batting line up on his side so opposition batsmen were under pressure even before he started bowling.

3) Unassisted wickets — Wasim had a much higher % of wickets unassisted (bowled / lbw) and common sense says it’s harder to do that than get some one caught in the slips.

Counterarguments:

1) Wasim had Waqar to back him up, I say yeah so ? GM had Shane Warne, Brett Lee (who was good in those days), Jason Gillespe (underrated).

2) He had a better strike rate, I say yeah he did, because it’s easier to get wickets when you’re defending a 300 run first innings lead and have 7 men around the bat in Perth, try doing that on a flat pitch in Karachi having no lead — things change.

3) There was that one match where Wasim and co. couldn’t get Justin Langer and Adam Gilchrist out and they went on and …… yes I know, that was one match and everyone has off days.

Anyways that’s my 0.02$ worth of opinion for the day, later.

13
Oct
09

Yeah you won, so ?

It’s award season folks, Nobel prize season, Barack Obama won for well … he won but swades was also represented by our very own Venkatraman Ramakrishnan. A bit about our hero, he studied in India, went abroad and you know thirty years later won the big boys best science fair project.

Awesome! Congrats!

This is a nice piece about saar

The part that bugs me is this: “Do these people have no consideration? It is OK to take pride in the event, but why bother me?”

Look, I don’t think emailing this guy is right, I don’t even think India or Indians taking pride in what he’s done is right, and if you’ve actually emailed this guy just cos he won well ….., having said that, Mr. Ramakrishnan given his awesome intelligence could use such things as spam filters to block out unwanted emails and quietly go about his day but no, wasting a couple of hours deleting unwanted emails from mistaken but likely well meaning people is such a hassle. If nothing else you got your undergrad degree in India sir, a little class wouldn’t kill you. Yeah people emailed you, so ? you win the noble prize everyday ? if you don’t want to reply don’t, but you don’t have to whine about it.

Nobody succeeds without a little bit of luck and acknowledging you’ve been fortunate to study abroad while plenty of unfortunate (but no less capable) children back home would have killed for the chance to do so would have been nice but then you’d need perspective for that. Why why why can’t we produce math nerds with a touch of grace about them.

Give Ratan Tata or Sachin the damn Nobel prize, at least they’d say the right things.

Photo credit: http://www.flickr.com/photos/hmk/ / CC BY 2.0

13
Oct
09

Wearing the inside out

First things first, I don’t consider myself a great Pink Floyd fan — I haven’t listened to every song of every album 27 times but I’m knowledgeable enough not to wear a Division Bell shirt to a Roger Waters concert (people like that do exist, watch MTV India’s rock on if you don’t believe me). This post isn’t about proving how “cool” I am or being a “rocker”, it’s about Rick Wright.

Yeah, we all know he wasn’t best friends with Roger Waters, we all know a lot of not so good things happened when the band was breaking up, but given that it’s been a little more than a year since he left us, I’d like to focus on what he did. I think WTIO is about a man working his way out of depression, and ultimately succeeding, it could also be about Rick’s addictions, but I’m glad it ended on a positive note. I don’t think I can add much more to this discussion (this song means a lot of things to a lot of people) so it’s best if you listen to it on your own, make sure you hear the live version and the studio version (which I think is depressing but maybe that was the point), the live version has been embedded here.

Lyrics:

From morning to night I stayed out of sight
Didnt recognise what Id become
No more than alive Id barely survive
In a word…overrun

Wont hear a sound
From my mouth
Ive spent too long
On the inside out
My skin is cold
To the human touch
This bleeding hearts
Not beating much

I murmured a vow of silence and now
I dont even hear when I think aloud
Extinguished by light I turn on the night
Wear its darkness with an empty smile

Im creeping back to life
My nervous system all away
Im wearing the inside out

Look at him now
Hes paler somehow
But hes coming round
Hes starting to choke
Its been so long since he spoke
Well he can have the words right from my mouth

And with these words I can see
Clear through the clouds that covered me
Just give it time then speak my name
Now we can hear ourselves again

Im holding out
For the day
When all the clouds
Have blown away
Im with you now
Can speak your name
Now we can hear
Ourselves again

Hes curled into the corner
But still the screen is flickering
With an endless stream of garbage to
…curse the place
In a sea of random images
The self-destructing animal
Waiting for the waves to break

Hes standing on the threshold
Caught in fiery anger
And hurled into the furnace hell
…curse the place
Hes torn in all directions
And the screen is still flickering
Waiting for the flames to break

Richard Wright, wish you were here.

13
Oct
09

Magic

” Any sufficiently advanced technology is indistinguishable from magic.” – Arthur C Clarke

In my “About” section I mentioned I had awesome roommates in grad school, and I wasn’t lying, each of us was screwed up in our own unique way, that’s why we got along so well, that’s cool you’re thinking, but how does it relate to Arthur C Clarke and magic, let me explain.

The beauty of having good roommates is amongst the thousands of hours of pointless discussions about item numbers, Andhra Pradesh, why Rohit Sharma can’t play the short ball, and what number you have to save to go home comfortably, something meaningful does occasionally slip through.

Now let me introduce you to one of my room mates, for the purposes of this article to be known as Bandar. Bandar has only 1 skill, seriously, that’s it, he can do just one thing well (don’t feel bad that’s one more than me) and that is program. Bandar is the best programmer I’ve seen and it’s not because he sat in front of K&R for 2 hours a day like a good Iyengar boy, he’s good cos he finds it interesting which brings me to my next point.

Bandar was once telling me why the programmers here are on average better than us and this was it — “there is no magic”, Americans don’t believe in magic (well the programmers don’t) they actually delve deep into the basics of why rather than google the solution, paste the code and drink tea (like yours truly). Another stellar quote was “anything outside the system call interface is doable”, for those of you that don’t know, the lower one goes in any application stack, the harder it gets to code and consequently the more power one has over a system that’s why C is still the king of all languages and you need to have brains to program well in it.  That’s why Linux still uses C (not C++), because they’d like the people writing what is generally considered the most stable Operating System out there to be familiar with low level CS concepts. So the next time you’re tempted to google the solution know that:

1) It won’t make you a better programmer, googling the solution and figuring out why it worked, probably will

2) 99% of the time that won’t actually matter, most of the code written by average people (like yours truly) isn’t actually complicated and just gets the job done

3)  Any time some joker tells you what awesome technology he works on, smile politely and remember real men code in C

Photo credit: http://www.flickr.com/photos/jbennett/ / CC BY 2.0
  1. Any sufficiently advanced technology is indistinguishable from magic.
06
Oct
09

Captain Vijayakanth: Friend, philosopher, guide (but mostly hero)

Before I begin, if you don’t know who Captain Vijayakanth is I pity you, I pity you like Mr. T pities the fool, because you haven’t been shooting high enough. Jerry Seinfeld once said there lives inside every little boy the desire to be a super hero, when we were growing up – Superman / Spiderman / Batman, these weren’t hero’s, these were options. To that list I must add our beloved Captain because of reasons I will provide in this blog.

Captains lesser achievements include performing open heart surgery with a mobile phone and saving India from attacks orchestrated by terrorists from the Tamil speaking part of Pakistan (Captain and the CIA are the only people who know it’s exact location), here are some other little known facts about him Chuck Norris style:

  • Economists believe the entire financial crisis could have been avoided if Captain had just commanded housing prices to go up or Richard Fuld understood Credit Default Swaps half as well as Captain does.
  • You cannot google Captain Vijayakanth, he exists only in the deep web.
  • Sachin Tendulkar will not retire till Captain approves it (he has been begging him for years).
  • There is actually no concept of “randomness” in the world, anything “random” is governed by patterns not yet discovered by people, long ago understood by Captain.
  • As a direct consequence of this, Captain developed an algorithm to predict the occurrence of prime numbers when he was 3. Having thus made a mockery of the foundation of all cryptography, captain reads your email and deletes those annoying chain mails before they get to you (you’re welcome).
  • Superman once said Batman was the most dangerous man in the world. Captain found out about this, Superman RIP.
  • Pink Floyd reunited for Live 8 at the express request of Captain Vijayakanth, he cried when he saw all the band members on stage together. Doctors collected his tears and preliminary tests reveal it cured cancer in rats, FDA approval for human testing pending.
  • Captain is an ardent advocate of open source software, what you and I call “Hello World”, Captain calls Unix.
  • Captain is a vegetarian.
  • Captain flies only Air India (even domestically).
  • Captain is the only person not born a US citizen who can be elected President of the United States (not that he would ever exercise said right).
  • Captain believes in unregulated free markets.

Now that you know who he is, let me tell you why Captain really is my hero — for all his achievements, Captain is at heart a family man, and really guys isn’t that the dream ? to go back home, wake up and read the paper while eating breakfast with a nice (preferably South Indian) girl before going to a job where they haven’t heard of layoffs, and then coming back and watching India win the World Cup.

Captain VIjaykanth: Friend, philosopher, guide (but mostly hero)

04
Oct
09

Thank God for Cricinfo

For those of you that don’t know, cricinfo is the life blood of the single Indian male in the US. This is a gem that I read a while back written by Siddhartha Vaidyanathan, highlight of my day ….

Losing my religion

The events of the last few weeks are freaking me out. Anil Kumble has gone, Sourav Ganguly will go, and the other three may not be far behind. I assume there is a large group of cricket fans in their mid-to-late 20s, like me, who are grappling with the implications. This transition is messing with our minds.

Let me explain. For many of us cricket began in November 1989. Pictures of what went before are too hazy. I remember Allan Border lifting the World Cup but don’t recall what I was doing then. So I can’t connect Australia’s World Cup win to my own life.

Sachin Tendulkar spoilt us. He commanded that we sit in front of the television sets. He ensured we got late with homework, he took care of our lunch-break discussions. He was not all that much older than us, and some of us naïve schoolboys thought we would achieve similar feats when we were 16. We got to 16 and continued to struggle with homework.

Then came Kumble and the two undertook a teenager-pampering mission not seen in India before. Tendlya walked on water, Jumbo parted seas. Our mothers were happy that we had nice heroes – down-to-earth prodigy and studious, brilliant bespectacled engineer. They were honest, industrious sportsmen, embodying the middle class.

When we thought we had seen everything, they reversed roles – Tendlya bowled a nerve-wracking last over in a semi-final, Jumbo played a match-winning hand with the bat. We were such spoilt brats that we pined for openers and fast bowlers. We cursed the side for not winning abroad. Such greed.

Economists would probably have predicted the bursting of the bubble. We had a deluge instead. One fine day at Lord’s we got a glimpse of two new saviours: Delicate Timing and Immaculate Technique. Suddenly my group of eight friends was split into two camps. You were either with Ganguly or Dravid. In that period we even took Kumble and Tendulkar for granted. It was adolescent indulgence taken to the extreme.

When we played cricket on the streets, we had a number of choices. Left-handers were thrilled, defensive batsmen were happy, extravagant stroke-makers were delighted, the short boys didn’t need to feel left out anymore, spectacles became cool, and freaky bowling actions were no more laughed at.

In such a state of bliss did we live our lives. We flunked important exams, shed tears over girls, crashed bikes, had drunken parties, choked on our first cigarettes, and felt utterly confused about our futures. But every time we felt low, we had an escape route. One glimpse of Dada stepping out of the crease, or Jam leaving a sharp bouncer alone, or Kumble firing in a yorker, was an uplifting experience. So what if India lost? Could any of those Pakistani batsmen even dream of batting like Sachin or VVS?

I remember Ganguly and Dravid soaring in Taunton, mainly because it was the day I got my board-exam results. And boy, did that provide some much-needed relief. I remember Tendulkar’s blitz against Australia in Bombay because my dad, who thought cricket was a waste of time, sat through every ball. So connected were these cricketers to my growing up.

Now, after close to 20 years, my generation needs to brace itself for this exodus. Some of my friends, crazy as this sounds, have been talking of needing to revaluate their own careers. Others are realising they need to recalibrate their childhood definitions of cricket. “Part of me just died,” said a college friend who was the kind of extreme cricket buff who memorised scorecards. “No Dada, no Jumbo. I’m positive I’ll stop watching after Sachin and Rahul retire.”

These players were not only outstanding cricketers but also great statesmen. However hard they competed, they were always exceptional role models. Now we dread the next wave of brashness and impetuosity. Harbhajan Singh and Sreesanth are talented cricketers, but there’s no way anyone would want a young kid to emulate either. The younger crop seems worse – a visit to some of their Orkut and Facebook pages tells you enough – and things may only get cruder in a cricket world when you can make a million dollars in a little over three hours.

“Our childhood is ending,” said a friend from school, and in some way he was probably spot on. Tendulkar’s retirement may mean a lot of things to a lot of people, but for a generation of 25- to 30-year-olds it will mark the end of the first part of their lives. Switching on the television the day after will be a serious challenge.

The original article can be found here

Photo credit: everystockphoto

03
Oct
09

What did you do last weekend ?

Study after study says that public speaking is people’s biggest fear. Personally, I’ve never understood that, I have no problem standing in front of people and making an idiot of myself, they’d figure out just as much within 20 minutes of talking with me anyways, no, my biggest fear is questions, not small talk-y, how was your day – fine questions, those pointed, piercing questions that people ask you in private like – what’s your gpa ?, you don’t understand design patterns ?, you haven’t worked with API’s before ? or you’re 24 and you can’t run a 10k ?

Like a Wasim Akram yorker, I expect but am still unprepared for the following question asked of me every Monday: “What did you do last weekend ?” and exactly like Wasim’s yorker, this question’s danger is in it’s focus, if it were “How was your weekend ?”, I’d provide a polite fine and go back to thinking about why Arsenal can’t put the ball in the back of the net, no — this question’s danger lies in the “What”.

Here’s the truth I didn’t do anything last weekend, I did my laundry, watched sports (EPL / IPL / Champions League / Champions Trophy / anything involving a ball), went to an Indian restaurant, studied a bit, and made up for work that should have been done long ago. That was my weekend, that’s my answer, unfortunately it isn’t an acceptable one. Most Indians in California travel approximately 9.8 million miles every weekend, most geniuses I know have been to every tourist site in California (thrice), and give me a condescending smile when I say “nothing” to their favorite question, followed by “I went hiking last weekend”.

I’m not even going to bitch about it, there are people starving, the global economy’s still in not so good shape, and I get paid far more than I should, I’m lucky and I know it, so I’d be a major douche bag to whine about something as trivial as this, BUT! I want to make a case for doing nothing over the weekend, here it is …

  • It costs nothing. Yeah, I’m cheap, sue me, I’d rather save a little more, take it home and spend it amongst family and friends at Sadguru (best restaurant in the world period) than get my picture taken on some damn beach and put it on facebook to prove how popular I am.
  • Hiking is overrated — you didn’t go to wildlife sanctuaries in India but you’re SUCH a nature lover in California ? Coder Pleez, how’s that sleeping bag ?, my bed’s pretty damn comfortable.
  • Personally I find it relaxing to sprawl on a couch and watch the game with a coke in my hand rather than stand in line with 67 other people for food.

Again, you want to burn rubber on weekends, be my guest, just don’t rip on people who don’t.

Photo credit: http://www.flickr.com/photos/studiosushi/ / CC BY-NC-SA 2.0
02
Oct
09

Exit strategies …

As a red blooded Indian male, I have 2 duties:

1) To work in IT

2) To always have a “plan”

I somewhat fullfill my first obligation in that I work in IT (work might be pushing it, I’m employed by a software company would be more accurate),  but I don’t have my “plan” set out in stone yet, and that’s what this post is about. It’s a little long winding but I hope you have the time.

You see, as Indians, we love plans, we love a natural, left brained progression from point A to point B — you study, you get a job, you get married, you have kids, and they repeat the cycle, ambiguity makes us uncomfortable. Given my education as an engineer, I’m extremely comfortable with being told exactly what to do and not ask why, so plans appeal to me.

In my experience Indians come to the States with one of the following plans:

1) To settle in the US: This used to happen a LOT before but doesn’t as much now. Clean roads, nice houses, and the fact that your mother in law was suitably impressed all made for compelling reasons to hang around here. That’s not so true anymore, plenty of clean roads in Bangalore although the traffics a pain, and you can’t buy anything in the US that you can’t get in India so why hang around ? Well, truth be told, I’ve spoken to a few people about this, and the consesus seems to be, “I don’t want the hassle”, hassle meaning, going back and bribing 24 different people to get an electricity connection, or sending your son for 17 different classes so he can get into a decent college (this is a big one) or competing with 99 equally talented people for the same job. Also I think regardless of what people say, we as a people tend to look more favorably upon mediocre success abroad than mediocre success at home.  Think about it, the average Indian in the US isn’t running Citigroup (go Vikram!), he’s a programmer working a decent but average 40 hour a week job, doing that in the US is generally looked upon as being better than doing the same thing in India.

2) I’ll leave in a few years: Yeah, this is by far the most popular exit strategy, I’ve heard several variations of …

I’ll leave when

  • I’ve saved enough to afford a house (or at least a down payment for a flat if you’re from Mumbai)
  • I’ve saved $x
  • I’ve cleared all my debt
  • I get an equivalent job back home
  • I have to get married / get married, depending on your choice of poison

I like this conditional logic, problem is things change too much, suddenly you’re 29 and what you thought was SUCH a nice house in Bandra doesn’t seem as nice as the 400k, 3 bedroom in Freemont, or you’re significant other says he/she wants to hang around here, or you get used to that nice dollar rupee ratio, I’ve noticed, that the people who follow strategy 2 are rarely successfull at implementing it.

3) I’ll leave when I get my citizenship: Perfect hedge, get you’re citizenship and go back home, I don’t know too many people who really do this though, the 30 year mortgage generally kills them here.

4) I’ll leave as soon as I get my degree: Generally people that fall into this category are either true patriots or can’t stand the US. They’re just here cos tuition is paid for and the college they go to is pretty good.

Before coming here, I had a pretty good idea of what my “exit strategy” would be, now — I’m not so sure …

Photo credit: http://www.flickr.com/photos/vermininc/ / CC BY-NC-SA 2.0
02
Oct
09

Welcome

Welcome,

Thanks for visiting this page, here you’ll find my completely unobjective, always biased and rarely insightful rants about life in US from the perspective of one of the thousands (millions maybe) of Indian software guys in Ahnold country.

Enjoy!

Photo credit: http://www.flickr.com/photos/philliecasablanca/ / CC BY 2.0



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